Thursday, May 7, 2015

You Lose Some... You Win Some

A day to commemorate a failed exercise from the First World War between Australian and New Zealand forces against the Ottomans in Turkey. The whole thing and the armed forces of both Aussie's and Kiwi's is known as ANZAC. This year happens to the be the 100th anniversary of the landing at Gallipoli. I haven't bothered to look up the history behind the annual event that takes place on ANZAC day, 25th April. It's known as 'Two-Up' and involves a coin being tossed.
Maybe the soldiers played it in the trenches, I don't know.

After watching the highlights of the 'Dawn Service', a remembrance service that happens to be held at dawn, most probably when the soldiers landed on the beaches, it was time to head out. I didn't get up at 5am or whatever to watch it but watched some of it on TV and the beginning of the through the city. It was about the time that the bag pipes started that we left, I can't stand the sound of bag pipes. They're even worse when combined with the clickety drum sound. I know or at least I don't think 'clickety' is a word but it describes the rolling tapping drum noise the marching drummers seem to play. Not the big old bash on the huge horizontal drums but the persistent almost rain like sound on the smaller snare style drum. Any way, we walked to the fish markets to get some Yum Cha for brunch in the upstairs restaurant. I'd been to the fish markets numerous times but had never ventured upstairs, to be honest I hadn't even realised there was a set of stairs. Not that I didn't notice them but because I'd never used them, my conscious never thought to remind my unconscious of their existence.

The restaurant is massive. I feel that the fuller it got, the larger it became. The tables must have been modular or laid out in such a way that they fit together creating one gigantic sized table for a family who's belief says nothing about contraception. It was my first experience at yum cha so I did feel like a younger version of myself. It wasn't quite like the moments before you open your presents on Christmas day but was a bit more than opening what are usually disappointing gifts on your birthday.
These little old Asian ladies were walking around, navigating their way through the masses of tables pushing these carts that they were not much bigger than. It wasn't that busy, maybe about five or so groups of between say three to six people. I had been warned that it does get very very busy come the lunch rush. For now we were relaxing. I was taking in this completely alien (to me) experience and enjoying some fine quality dumplings and dim sums. Like a kiddie in a candy store, Nina and myself wanted to grab everything that passed us by. It took an awful lot of restraint and maybe we did end up getting too much but it was all so tasty. We started on calamari and scallop dumplings. Then some spring rolls and these bbq pork cannelloni. We had some soup dumplings and then some steamed choi sum, after it took about ten minutes to come out. We finished the whole sitting on mango pancakes. Eggy pancakes filled with mango pieces and whipped cream. The whole meal was amazing, I could have eaten a lot more but was comfortably full and didn't want to sacrifice my comfort and stomach just to satisfy some mental block about never feeling full until I'm bursting.
It was all washed down with Chinese tea which did nothing to quench my thirst. I think it made it all a lot worse as when I left I had a banging headache and had a craving for the lychee flavoured aloe drink.
I failed to find that so settled on a not so refreshing or thirst quenching 'root beer'. I did want a coffee but would not have been able to handle it as my brain was throbbing behind my eyes already. Any more precious water being used up elsewhere in my body would have tipped me over the edge and I would have collapsed. Actually that is a bit of an exaggeration but I was thirsty and did have a bit of a headache.

Not sure of where to go for Two-Up and what to do for the rest of the afternoon, we settled on the idea of going to The Rocks. Maybe The Rocks would have something in store for us. We walked there via the waterfront all the way around Pyrmont and Darling Harbour until we got onto George St and walked through the city catching a final glimpse of any remaining parade. Luckily we got there just as some bag pipe band had finished. We didn't hang around to wait for them to start up again. There was something quite exhilarating about walking down George St when there are no cars on it, usually it would be packed full of cars, taxis, buses and even motorcycles.

I don't think I'd ever seen so many people in The Rocks. It was packed, every single bit of outdoor seating or standing was taken. Men and women wearing uniforms or smart jackets, decorated with medals were intermingling with locals, westies (people who live out in Western Sydney) and tourists. It was a big melting pot of absolutely everybody and anybody, of all ages too. The regular Rocks market was on. It was okay but the only thing that took our attention was a candle stall. The kind of smell that you could see, if it were an animation there would be that mist that goes on for ages. Not the green kind but the white foggy looking one that sits just under the characters noses. The smell was intensely of caramel or toffee. A thick, sweet and sticky aroma. It got caught in the cilia in the nose and remained for some time. All the candles smelled amazing. We decided that if we won anything on Two-Up, the winnings would go towards getting some of those candles.

We ended up in a pub/bar called 'The Argyle' for Two-Up. There was a red carpet laid out in front with a few big angry looking door men. If there was going to be any trouble, those guys looked like they could handle it. The Rocks is great but a vast majority of the pubs and bars are full of tourists and are commonly know as 'tourist traps'. The Argyle is a mix of one of those and the kind of bar where it wouldn't look out of place to see young women with so much cleavage on display they might as well not be wearing any clothes, or guys so pumped and roided that their brains have shrunken to the size of a pea and they haven't seen their manhood in years. An oddly entertaining place, not one I think I'd ever go to again though.

It took a while and a lot of pushing and squeezing to make out way through to the bar. A small selection of beer but a wheat beer that would have been and was refreshing on a hot autumn day. The forecast was for rain but that had been held at bay by the strong and bright sun. The bars beer garden was where all the action was taking place. A very legit and officiated event with a guy from some gambling thingy majig and other guys helping to make the event run as smooth as possible. People were selected out of the crowd to toss the coins.

So, from what I gather of Two-Up, the rules are very simple. There is a short time period where participants are able to place bets on either heads or tails. There are two of the same coins on a small wooden paddle. The coins are tossed into the air and allowed to come to the ground naturally. To win, or lose, there needs to be two of the same. The betting goes, someone bets on heads and somebody wanting tails bets against him/her. Said person holds the money, if it's heads, they win, tails they hand all the money back. Probably the most simple form of gambling with the least amount of variables and most amount of luck. If however one tails and one heads come up, then it is know as 'onesies' meaning the tosser has to toss some more. If they get three onesies in a row, the often incur a forfeit. In the case of The Argyle, the forfeit was to drop and give me ten, ten push ups. When we arrived we took note of the tosses. Before we'd even placed our first bet, 6 heads had already come up, no tails yet. The guy in front of us was on a roll, he won every single time, but one when he decided to deviate from his heads and go for tails, although he went tails the next time and did win again. Thirteen heads and one tails in the time we were there. This one tosser managed to get two lots of three onesies in a row.
Having only a $20 note in my pocket, I took a big gamble on tails. It was about the time there had been five heads in a row. I thought, there must be a tails soon, the laws of probability depend on it, I depend on it. If I win I can keep betting the winnings until I lose, if I win more I can keep going. I lost. Bloody heads again, it was the sixth in a row. Dom and Nina didn't fair to well either, we all left the Argyle on a loss. A bit of a waste of time but it was fun to see such a primitive and barbaric bunch of people, behaving like monkeys fighting over scraps of food. It was hilarious.

Even thought the forecast said rain, it was hot and sunny and wearing jeans and a flannel shirt was a grave mistake. When one is not used to sweating or smelling then suddenly gets a whiff of their own not too pleasant scent, one knows something is wrong. I was fine, the smell was not coming from under my pits, I had sweat on my brow but other than that all was well in my scent department. By the time we'd walked back from the Rocks to Surry Hills, the temperature had dropped somewhat, enough to decide that actually jeans did make sense and to change into something shorter was ill advised.

A couple of Dom's work mates were having some pre-game drinks at a pub formerly famed for being one of the better underground music venues in Sydney, The Excselsior. It had a few years ago been transformed into a Mexican themed 'Taqueria'. Or to you and me, a pub that had a Mexican themed kitchen serving a variety of tacos. On the menu is a 'secret taco' the main ingredient changes regularly and is sometimes 'sweetbreads' thyroid glands or testicles or brain or whatever one decides sweetbreads are at that very moment in time. I wanted to try some sweetbreads but never got round to it last time or this time.

A light drizzle started, slowly picking up into light pouring. What is often the case in Sydney, these light pours soon become torrential rain lasting for short periods but enough water comes down to that would easily wash away entire villages in Africa. The rain came down, light, then heavier and heavier until we took shelter inside the pub. It was then that it got really heavy. You could no longer see further than a metre out of the window, it was a solid wall of water. The only time I have ever water obscuring the view so much was the time I visited Niagra Falls and went to the lower level viewing hole thing. The people who run that little section know how wet it gets and you are given a disposable poncho to protect yourself for the wall of water and any mist or splashes that are projected from it. Even with the protection of a flimsy plastic sheet with holes for your arms and head, you do still get wet.
You'd need more than a poncho to protect you from this current downpour. The water is everywhere. The roads have become fast flowing rivers, faster than the Amazon which is said to be so fast that it deposits the most amount of water into the ocean out of any other river in the world, I believe the second is a river in the Congo or somewhere like that. The Amazon was temporarily leapfrogged by the Foveaux St River in Surry Hills, Sydney. At that moment exactly it was depositing more water than any of the worlds fastest flowing rivers put together.

Even taxis had briefly stopped moving. Not a single pedestrian braving it. Luckily it was only short lived and within half an hour the rain had subsided and was back to a gentle pour. In the time since the rain had started a lot had happened. I'd managed to consume two pints of an IPA by 'Little Creatures', one of the biggest and best brewers producing great beers such as their Pale. The IPA was better than the Pale on all counts. I was very impressed and it was a good distraction to the rain and recent kitchen closure and water leak problem the pub seemed to be suffering from.

My mate Dan arrived with a friend of his who only lasted two sips of his pint before he was called off to an emergency. His sisters apartment was flooding, with such heavy rain it wasn't surprising. The only places safe were either at the tops of hills or in high rise buildings. Dom's mates left and went on their way to watch a rugby game at some big stadium out west, where apparently there had been golf ball sized hail stones. We left soon after and escorted Dan to the station via some really big and horrible pub full of local drunks and smelling like the stale smell of spilt ketchup and rancid and sweet spirits. You could even detect failure and disappointment in the air, it was an awful place that thankfully we only stayed for one beer. Dan was on his way to a lovely sounding roast dinner cooked by his housemates. Me and Dom were off on our way to seek more beer and fast, I needed something amazing to make up for that last place and I was famished. If only we were in North Sydney, I would have definitely ordered a steak. There was a little bit of positivity to gain as on the way to that horrible pub, we passed another. The KB Hotel, which was really busy and full of the drunken dregs who were still out and about from a day of gambling and heavy drinking. We didn't stay long enough to order a drink. On the way out I saw a crumpled up thing on the floor. It looked like money but could have quite easily have been a discarded betting slip or receipt or something useless. It was a $20 note. Things started to look up, the lord had shone his light on the exact spot where the note was, I was gifted what I'd lost because I'm such a good boy.

We sought sustenance by the way of the $12.50 mains at The Shakespeare. We both had burgers, mine with cheese, Dom's without. All was well apart from a group of really annoying people who had 'reserved' a whole room. When reading this, the sarcastic quotation marks must be made when reading 'reserved'. There may have been say ten to twelve of them, the room had more than enough space to seat us two. Nope. A rude little bitch said to us as we walked in looking around and scouting out seats, “sorry dear, this area is 'reserved'”. Oh my, I was furious, we were both furious. I needed beer and food, food, beer, I needed some kind of distraction.

The atmosphere was lacking and we didn't feel to stick around for another. The downstairs bar was full of redneck hicks and upstairs c***s.

We walked to work off the burgers we'd eaten, thinking how quickly the weather had turned bad and then good again. Up to Crown St, along it until we chanced upon this vegan restaurant that just so happened to be operated by one of Australia's finest Breweries, 'Yulli's'. It seems like such a long time ago now since I arrived in Australia. When we tried the Yulli's 'Norman Aussie Ale' over two weeks ago felt like a lifetime ago. It was certainly a good enough beer to remember and wish to sample once again. In fact I wanted to try what else they had on offer.

It was quite late at this point, sometime after 10pm. The kitchen had closed but we were not interested in food. We wanted beer and good beer at that. The kind lady behind the counter allowed us to sit at the bar and order a beer. She obliged and joked in the usual Aussie way, I don't quite get the humour but I entertained it any way. Even though the kitchen had closed I almost felt like I should order some food. With a full belly and not being able to I didn't but I did want to. A piece of fried tofu with some kind of fancy dressing or a vegan dumpling. Beer what we were after and that is what we had. I went for a Vanilla Stout or Porter, it was one of the Seasonal beers on tap. Dom had a Brown Ale or some kind. Both were Yuilli's brews and both had wonderful names which I cannot remember. In the dim light is was almost impossible to distinguish between the two. However, with a light being shone behind the glasses, one was jet black and almost opaque and the other was a slightly lighter shade of a murky dark brown.
They were both fantastic beers but the vanilla one was altogether unreal. Never have I had a vanilla flavoured beer working so well, sweet, almost spicy, hints of coffee and burnt toast yet at the same time being well balanced and flavoursome. A little party going off in my mind and my mouth, a party that there had been no invitation for and I was the only guest.

I think due to the spacing between drinks and the time and how early we'd risen, I was getting tired and I gathered that so to was Dom. We decided to walk home along Oxford street to see it one last time at night before I left back for England. Like always, we spent the walk swerving between drunkards, homeless vagrants, transvestites, seedy homosexual men with dribble in the corner of their mouths and then there were the piles of vomit and puddles of piss on the floor. Not painting a great picture of Oxford St but that is the only thing I've ever experienced on the Surry Hills end of the road. The other end in Paddington and beyond is a completely different story, it couldn't be further from what we saw here.

Somewhere between Crown St and where Dom live is a newish craft beer establishment. Tucked away up a flight of stairs with a barely noticeable sign hanging out the front. 'Bitter Phew', a place I wished to visit and Dom hadn't yet. Going boldly where we'd never been before, we braved the steep steps leading up to a dimly lit hall and turned the corner into what was the bar and seating area. We had tried once before to enter but left it too late and the place was closed. This time it was open and sounded quite busy.

It wasn't busy but comfortably full. There were places to sit and so we sat. a long communal style tables, seated opposite a couple who were happy enough to not be disturbed by our arrival and continued their conversation as if were non entities. The tap beer list was small but varied, some beers from all over the world and some great home grown beers from down under. Quite a few beers from the USA, some of which I'd not even seen in some of the best craft beer establishments across London. I had a Saison by 'LaSirene'. I'd fallen in love with their 'Florette' and the Saison didn't disappoint. Everything a Saison should be and perfect after a heavy and sweet vanilla stout or porter that I'd had at Yulli's. I think Dom went for the Founders 'Breakfast Stout' regarded as being one of the best Breakfast Stouts in the world and after having it previously, it was clear why. He enjoyed it as much as I'd bigged it up which I was happy about. Hyping something up is dangerous as it opens up and greatly increases the probability of being disappointed. Luckily this was not the case and he loved it. Two amazing beers in what really felt like a cool and quirky craft beer establishment that would fit in perfectly in London or The USA. It was a shame that I wasn't to be around any longer as they had some beers coming in from what is reputedly the best brewery in the world, 'Hills Farmstead' out of Vermont, USA. I'm still to try any of their beers.


A great end to a day of mixed emotions, some brilliant beers in a variety of locales.


The best mains for $12.50

One of the original Aussie Pales and makers of a lovely IPA

If only I didn't love meat so much.. or was an hour earlier then I could have had some delicious vegan food to go with the tasty beers

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